He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
