Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
