Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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