Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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