the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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