kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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