Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
