just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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