Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
