Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Randomize
