I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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