oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
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I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
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Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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