They should really pass out barf bags in church
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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