No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
