why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
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keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
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I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize