do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she told me i tasted like america
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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