my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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