i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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