The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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