I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
