the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
