Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
