Having a random hookup so left but love u
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
