She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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