How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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