Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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