But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
