Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
