You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
