I need help removing her.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
