nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
