if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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