I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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