I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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