Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
