I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
