wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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