Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
