Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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