i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
