I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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