is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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