Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
