I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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