Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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