Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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