I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
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There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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