ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
