The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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