"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
