Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
