Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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