It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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