just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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