I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you win again, gameday.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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