I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize