and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
